もう悪ふざけなんてしないなんて言わないよ絶対♪ | I won’t say that I won’t prank.




This blog is a continuation of the previous one, which was written when I worked at a massage salon. I’m updating it exactly as it was written before. I thought there were more mischievous blogs, but I couldn’t find them. The title and content of this blog are the same as before.


The title of this blog was “No More Fooling Around” when I drafted it yesterday. However, I changed the title on the day of publication. The reason for the change is explained at the very end.


At the massage salon where I work, when we are late or leave early, we have to write a reason on the company’s website.


Sometimes I write pranks on it. When my coworker H left early, he wrote “store operations” as the reason. So, I added a little something to it.


I add something to this reason. I wrote that he wrote “the store operation” but the real reason is that he had to leave”I wrote ‘store operations’ (as he did), but in reality, kind H had to leave early to accompany his sister to her breast augmentation surgery, from A cup to G cup. By Onishi.”


And then, a few days later, I wrote the following reason for my early leave.


As I wrote the reason that this co-worker accompanied with her operation and this operation succeeded so “As I wrote before, H’s sister’s breast augmentation surgery, from A cup to G cup, was a success, so I’m going to celebrate. She got a valley between her breasts, so now she is called ‘Silicon Valley.'”


It’s really lame to explain, but I wrote it because the words “valley” and “valley” sound similar in English.


I wrote several reasons for leaving early and being late afterward. First, the reason for leaving early that I wrote afterwards is:


“My 70-year-old mother is pregnant this year, so I’m going to the hospital. No, I’m going to the dentist.”


After I wrote this, someone from the same shop asked me, “Does your mother still have her period?” I said, “It’s a joke, don’t ask me that!” The next reason I wrote for leaving early was:


“I’m going to meet a beautiful and stylish woman at the nearest station and have a date drinking sake together at a fashionable bar. I hope so but I’m going to the dentist.”


By the way, when I wrote this, I wanted people to think, “I don’t care.” Finally, the reason for being late, not leaving early, that I wrote was:


My car’s navigation system suddenly started using past tense, causing me to be late. For example, it said “You should have turned left next to the convenience store” or “You should have turned right next to the gas station.”


Before explaining the reason for my lateness, I want to clarify that my tendency for mischief has been growing increasingly suspicious, so I decided to end with a comment stating that I will no longer engage in such behavior.


I don’t just play pranks at this current shop – I have a history of doing so, with the most severe reprimand occurring over ten years ago when I wrote “Ero-Terrorist Onishi” in the section for my name on a report, as I was believed to be a womanizer, and Inrīn obu Jōitoi was popular at the time.


My boss got angry when he saw it. Is it really not okay to play pranks at work? Honestly, I don’t feel that much remorse. However, I plan to refrain from doing so outside of my work. As long as I’m not hurting anyone, I feel like it’s okay.


Now, onto the content I wrote on the day in question. I added the reason for leaving work early, but it wasn’t particularly amusing. I wrote something that was neither quite a prank nor entirely serious, because I had felt like joking around due to the strange atmosphere at the shop on Sundays and had recently pledged not to engage in any more mischief.


Here is the reason I provided for leaving early:


“I’m leaving early due to stomach pain (I’m experiencing both diarrhea and constipation at the same time).”


Well, I suppose you could argue that it’s not a prank. Doesn’t everyone experience that feeling when their stomach is rumbling but nothing comes out? It’s not something that happens very often, though.


Finally, I’ll explain why I tend to leave early. I work in the relaxation industry, where the minimum work unit is fifteen minutes. If there is no work scheduled for fifteen minutes before my shift ends, then I don’t have any work until the end of my shift. Additionally, it takes me twenty minutes to walk from the shop to the train station, and trains arrive at 5:15 pm, 6:15 pm, and so on, with only one or two trains per hour. That’s why I try to leave work early to catch the train on time.

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